Offense comes when we experience extreme displeasure over something said or done to us or someone close to us. Offense stands ready to take our hand and lead us down the path of destruction. Therefore, we must make an intentional choice to refuse offense if we desire to live unoffended and free.

Offense Knocks at Thanksgiving

Last year, we hosted a large gathering at Thanksgiving. During the middle of the meal, I arose from the table to get a guest a second helping of one of the dishes. When I entered the kitchen, I found another guest standing in the middle of the kitchen eating a package of peanut butter crackers from our pantry.

I looked at our guest but said nothing. I just filled the other guest’s plate and returned to the dining room area. Our peanut butter cracker guest never returned to the Thanksgiving table nor did they interact with our family.

After the holiday weekend, the peanut butter cracker guest spread unkind things about me and my family to their friends. I chose not to be offended. (Please do not be offended on my behalf!)

Refuse to Answer Offense’s Knock

How do we refuse offense when it knocks at our door? We can choose to receive God’s grace and remain unoffended. We can choose to extend grace and refuse to be offended by the offender’s words or actions.

“Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].” ~1 Corinthians 13:7 AMP

God is love and calls us to walk in love toward Him and others.

“And we know (understand, recognize, are conscious of, by observation and by experience) and believe (adhere to and put faith in and rely on) the love God cherishes for us. God is love, and he who dwells and continues in love dwells and continues in God, and God dwells and continues in Him.” ~1 John 4:16 AMPC

“And so faith, hope, love abide [faith – conviction and belief respecting man’s relation to God and divine things; hope – joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love – true affection for God and man, growing out of God’s love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love.” ~1 Corinthians 13:13 AMPC

Cultivate Non-Offense

For many years, I have asked the Lord to help me refuse offense, resentment, and bitterness when negative things are said or done to me (especially when I am falsely accused!). I have prayed, “Lord, let these words be like water on a duck’s back. Let it roll off me and let none of it stick. You say a curse without cause will not alight, so let their words fall to the ground, rendered null and void.”

The Lord has graciously answered my prayer by empowering me to forgive, sow seeds of kindness, and choose LIFE by refusing offense, bitterness, and resentment.

Life is living in the freedom of Christ and the spirit of liberty.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” ~2 Corinthians 3:17 NASB

“Stand firm therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and don’t be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.” ~Galatians 5:1 WEB

Not only do we need to refuse offense for things said or done to us, but we need to refuse offense on someone else’s behalf.

“It is good to be a good listener and have a heart to help those who are struggling with difficult situations in their lives, but if someone comes to you with an offense against another, don’t partner with it. The moment you agree with someone’s offense, you lose your power to help, and their bitterness then enters and defiles you.” ~Patricia King

Live Unoffendable

In her book, Live Unoffendable, Patricia King speaks of choosing to live unoffendable.

“Offenses are not given – they are taken, and they do not come alone! When you choose to take an offense, you’ve also chosen the five deadly elements of sin that come along with it – and it doesn’t stop there. Sin always bears consequences. So in taking offense, you have triggered a deadly chain reaction in your life” ~Patricia King

Offense is a choice of our will. Will we choose offense or love?

“Love is the greatest power in the universe, and we will not overcome without it. When offense is in operation, then love is not. When love is in operation, offense is not.” ~Patricia King

Love is the greatest power in heaven or on earth. Love overcomes! The opposite of love is hate, accusation, condemnation, unforgiveness, pride, and unrighteous judgment – all of which accompany offense.

“Accusation and condemnation are part of the profile of unrighteous judgment that is tied into offense. Judgment, along with its accusation, condemnation, and criticism, is one of the deadly transgressions found in offense. Offense always carries an element of pride. And Jealousy is deadly and is not only fueled by offense, but it spreads offense.” ~Patricia King

“When you choose offense, you’ve chosen your master, because you become a slave to the one you submit to. The enemy tempts you with offense because he is full of offense and wants you to partake of his nature. He is a cruel taskmaster and you don’t ever want to be like him or under his control!” ~Patricia King

If you found yourself bound by the spirit of offense, repent, and allow the Lord to restore your heart in His perfect love.

Sow and Reap

When we sow good seeds, we expect to reap a good harvest. Unfortunately, sometimes weeds appear in our field.

“Jesus gave them another parable [to consider], saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while his men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds [resembling wheat] among the wheat, and went away.”

“So when the plants sprouted and formed grain, the weeds appeared also. The servants of the owner came to him and said, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? Then how does it have weeds in it?’”

“He replied to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants asked him, ‘Then do you want us to go and pull them out?’ But he said, ‘No; because as you pull out the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. Let them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, ‘First gather the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; but gather the wheat into my barn.’” ~Matthew 13:24-30 AMP

We must trust the Lord and cultivate faithfulness toward Him, and kindness in our hearts toward others. We can entrust ourselves to the Righteous Judge who does all things well.

“Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.” ~Psalm 37:2 NASB

“For evildoers will be cut off, but those who wait on the Lord, they will inherit the land. Yet a little while and the wicked man will be no more; and you will look carefully for his place and he will not be there.” ~Psalm 37:9-10 NASB

Refuse Bitterness

Bitterness is “an excessive degree of passions and emotions” that if given full reign in us will lead to resentment, rage, quarreling, and slander which then defiles us and those around us.

“Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).” ~Ephesians 4:31 AMPC

“Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.” ~Hebrews 12:14-15 NASB

Offense’s Temptation

Temptations to take offense assailed my thoughts on Thanksgiving Day as I witnessed our peanut butter cracker guest ignore my extended family members and as I witnessed their withdrawal from the special holiday mealtime. And the temptation to be offended came in subsequent days as I heard my home, family, and meal slandered by our guest.

The spirit of offense is like any other negative spirit, it passes by us like a fishing line with a hook. However, we do have a choice in the matter! We can choose not to take the spirit of offense’s bait. We can refuse to be ‘reeled in’ and ‘hung out to dry’ by the enemy.

• Refuse to take the hook of offense
• Refuse to take the hook of resentment
• Refuse to take the hook of bitterness

Choose Love

Love is greater than the spirit of offense.

“He who doesn’t love doesn’t know God, for God is love.” ~1 John 4:8 WEB

“Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others].” ~1 Peter 4:8 AMPC

“And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.” ~Ephesians 4:32 AMPC

We do not want to be a doormat and allow people to walk all over us; at the same time, we do not want to be entitled and demand our rights in our strength. God said in the end days most people’s love will grow cold; therefore, we are not surprised when we see people around us whose love has grown cold.

“Because lawlessness is increased, the love of most people will grow cold. But the one who endures and bears up [under suffering] to the end will be saved.” ~Matthew 24:12-13 AMP

Let us cultivate our hearts for love and kindness, and refuse the spirit of offense

• Let us purpose in our hearts to love
• Let us purpose in our hearts to live unoffended
• Let us purpose in our hearts to refuse resentment, bitterness, and every invitation of offense
• Let us choose to walk in the fruits of the spirit and sow seeds of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control
• Let us deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Jesus

If we follow Jesus, we will live a life of freedom!

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone desire to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me.’” ~Matthew 16:24 WEB

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” ~Proverbs 4:23 NASB

“If therefore the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.” ~John 8:36 WEB

Offense is a choice – to be or not to be offended is a choice each of us must make. I choose to refuse offense. And if I take offense, I will repent, and humble myself before the Lord, so that He might restore me to a heart of love and forgiveness toward the offender. I choose to live unoffendable. What will you choose today – offense or love?

Recommendations

Incarnate Leadership – A Remarkable and Surprising Life – Strength with Dignity

Genuine Humility Provides Hope-Inspired Leadership – Strength with Dignity

References

Amplified Bible (AMP) Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, CA 90631. All rights reserved.

Amplified Bible, Classis Edition (AMPC) Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation.

New American Standard Bible 1995 (NASB1995), copyright 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation.

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary. Retrieved August 9, 2023, from http://www.webstersdictionary1828.com/Dictionary

World English Bible (WEB) by Public Domain. The name “World English Bible” is trademarked.

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