Basic communication skills help us to

• Listen with intentionality
• Refuse to interrupt another (even if we disagree with them!)
• Seek to understand the heart of the speaker through their verbal and non-verbal communication
• Try to communicate our heart in a Christlike manner when we respond

James encourages us to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

“Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak {a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving].” ~James 1:19 AMP

Quick to Hear

How do we become quick to hear others? Active listening includes actively paying attention to people’s words, then giving them feedback. Listening includes comprehending their nonverbal cues in conjunction with their emotional state. For example, if someone says they are fine, but their face is bright red, their arms are tense, their fist is balled up, and they are yelling, “I’m fine! I’m fine!” Their emotional and nonverbal cues, coupled with their volume is going to override the meaning of their words ‘I’m fine’ because obviously, they are not fine.

King Solomon encourages us to listen well and to walk with others for wise guidance.

“Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory.” ~Proverbs 11:14 NASB

“He who answers before he hears the facts – it is folly and shame to him.” ~Proverbs 18:13 AMPC

Slow to Speak

Mark Altrogge states, “To be quick to hear and slow to speak means having both humility and respect for others. It means you take the necessary time to listen to people instead of just speaking your opinion.” This is a key principle, be slow to speak because you are taking the time to listen first.

King Solomon shows us the benefits of walking in wisdom.

“The wise in heart are called prudent, understanding, and knowing, and winsome speech increases learning [in both speaker and listener].” ~Proverbs 16:21 AMPC

“Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.” ~Proverbs 25:11 NASB

The Apostle Paul admonishes us to use gracious speech.

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” ~Ephesians 4:29 NASB

“Let your speech at all times be gracious (pleasant and winsome), seasoned [as it were] with salt, [so that you may never be at a loss] to know how you ought to answer anyone [who puts a question to you].” ~Colossians 4:6 AMPC

Slow to Anger

One of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is self-control. David asked the Lord to “set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.”¹

Jesus says, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”² Solomon encourages us to “watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life.”³

To find victory over anger, we enthrone Christ in our hearts and renew our minds with His Word.

“When there are many words, transgression, and offense are unavoidable, but he who controls his lips and keeps thoughtful silence is wise.” ~Proverbs 10:19 AMP

“He who is slow to anger has great understanding [and profits from his self-control], but he who is quick-tempered exposes and exalts his foolishness [for all to see].” ~Proverbs 14:29 AMP

“A soft and gentle and thoughtful answer turns away wrath, but harsh and painful and careless words stir up anger.” ~Proverbs 15:1 AMP

“One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; one who rules his spirit, than he who takes a city.” ~Proverbs 16:32 WEB

“He who spares his words has knowledge. He who is even-tempered is a man of understanding.” ~Proverbs 17:27 WEB

“Good sense and discretion make a man slow to anger, and it is his honor and glory to overlook a transgression or an offense [without seeking revenge and harboring resentment].” ~Proverbs 19:11 AMP

“But now put away and rid yourselves [completely] of all these things: anger, rage, bad feeling toward others, curses and slander, and foulmouthed abuse and shameful utterances from your lips!” ~Colossians 3:8 AMPC

How can we be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow in anger? We are quick to hear when we employ active listening skills by paying attention to people’s words, their volume, their tone, their nonverbal cues, and their emotional state. We are slow to speak when we listen and do not interrupt the speaker. We are slow to anger when we enthrone Christ in our hearts and renew our minds with His Word. When we commit our way to the Lord and ask Him to strengthen us to walk in His ways; He will do it!

Recommendations:

Owe No Man Anything – Simplistic, Insanely Strange, but Powerful – Strength with Dignity

10 Bible Verses for Healing a Broken Heart – Strength with Dignity

References:

¹ Psalm 141:3 NASB

² Luke 6:45 NASB

³ Proverbs 4:23 AMP

100 Bible Verses about Quick to Listen and Slow to Speak. Published by Open Bible. Retrieved June 2, 2023, from What Does the Bible Say About Quick To Listen And Slow To Speak? (openbible.info)

Abrahams, Robin and Boris Groysberg. How to Become a Better Listener. Published by Harvard Business Review on December 21, 2021. Retrieved June 2, 2023, from How to Become a Better Listener (hbr.org)

Altrogge, Mark. Slow to Speak and Quick to Hear: 11 Simple Strategies. Published by The Blazing Center on September 19, 2017. Retrieved June 2, 2023, from Slow To Speak and Quick To Hear: 11 Simple Strategies (theblazingcenter.com)

Amplified Bible (AMP) Copyright 2015 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, CA 90631.

Amplified Bible, Classis Edition (AMPC) Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation.

New American Standard Bible 1995 (NASB 1995), copyright 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation.

World English Bible (WEB) by Public Domain. The name “World English Bible” is trademarked.

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Every Friday, I join an online Christian writing community, Five Minute Friday. The prompt this week is quick.